the last week of february and it is warm enough for my dog and i to sit on the back porch. the sun is bright, but the surrounding crisp air creates a barrier to the sun’s warmth. the birds are busy announcing their plans as they engage in their work to prepare for the upcoming spring soirée. and dottie and i? we are here for the spectacle and glad that we don’t have to participate in the work.
today i was walking towards the exit a building and looked up to see a stretch of window with a large, beautiful piece of stained glass in the center. it was simple in design, yet the color was breathtaking. i was thinking that it was just what I needed at that moment.
color.
in a world that is gray, gray, and more gray due to the attributes that mid-February brings alongside her nonchalant attitude in regards to my opinion on choice of color.
i vaguely found myself curious if this is why medieval churches and castles used the glass. then, quickly moved my pondering to why i hadn't noticed the beautiful color as i was entering the building. was i too rushed? visually distracted? was my mind elsewhere?
i soon found the answer to be, no.
as i walked through the door, i glanced back and looked up. it was not visible from the outside.
...why?
why would someone put that work of art somewhere that it could not be enjoyed from both views? that glorious color that would brighten the world? why house something that is only enjoyed as someone is inside? are they keeping that color and joy to themselves? hoarding a treasure? or was it something they believed would show, but the construction of the building wouldn't allow it to be seen from the exterior? if so, what would be the expense to adjust the construction to make the change for better visibility?
how interesting of a thought when the mind turns inwardly. am i housing something beautiful and colored that no one can see but a select few? am i protecting it for self and others interpret it to be that i am hoarding something to be treasured? or is it that i believed i would show it, but then constructed something that wouldn't allow it to be seen from the exterior?
if so, what would be the expense to adjust the construction for better visibility and sharing?
why are some goodbyes more difficult than others? most are thoughtless and don't involve the heart or a second thought. then there are the sharp ones that are meant to convey anger, hurt, or bitterness. there are goodbyes that take effort to say because it will be a while before seeing someone again. and then there are the ones with so much weight on them, the mouth struggles to move to get the word out because saying it means accepting the inevitable.
how does one word hold so much to it? two sylables. seven letters assigned to express a message that ends any previous correspondence. possibly till next time. till next year. or... till never again.
it seems to me that the significance of the word and the weight behind it, depends on a few things. the distance of time, the depth the emotion in relation to the connection, and the length of time of the departure.
yet, we decide these variables in the blink of an eye without ever really putting our mind to the math involved. the heart is the one that decides the equation.
